I'm just trying to set expectations.
Not that it changes anything. I'm still going to run one, since I'm a writer. One in dire need to develop creative discipline.
So. Welcome. To my blog.
Welcome to my blog.
Good to have you. You might notice it's a bit empty around here still, but that's part of the… excitement? Yes. I am excited.
For the past weeks I've been going back and forth between creative projects; or, rather, different media. The project itself is the same as it ever was. But I couldn't commit to any cue medium, because I enjoy them all. I like podcasts: like listening to them, like making them. I like vlogs: both watching them and thinking about visual storytelling.
And I love writing.
At the end of the day, I'm a writer first and foremost. Storyteller, yes, but in writing.
And yet I haven't really written anything in a long time. Loooooong time. Which is a shame, and have also given me a never ending dose of anxiety. And I have enough of that, thank you very much, without giving myself even more.
The idea was simple: start with something basic and small to rekindle the flame. Unlearn a bunch of things I shouldn't have learned in the first place or time to let go. Build consistency, learn new things, grow.
Always got hung up on details, though. And, lo and behold, never got off the ground.
So, on my 38th birthday last week I adopted the "fuck it" -attitude.
I have no idea what I'm doing..
… or where I'm going. This here is pure instinct, going with what I know and not being fancy or grandiose or whatever. Which is writing. (What I know, not the fancy or grandiose thing.)
First I need to get good at this one thing I claim to love and want to do for the rest of my life.
I'm okay, don't get me wrong. I have some talent and quite some amount of learned skills. I apply them every day. And still when it comes to my own stuff, I always hit a hard wall.
Maybe that's it, though. That perhaps I'm not destined to be a novelist or blogger or what-have-you. But if I don't give it an honest shot, if I don't give it my all to at least see how far I can take it, I'll never know for sure.
So here it is, a (mostly) clean slate and a determination to reach a goal which I'll recognize when I reach it.
That's what this blog is. A journey.
Say, are blogs cool still?