trying too hard

Free will is deceptive.

Greg Fazekas
Dec 4, 2022
2 min read
unblock challengeproductivitybullet journalcreativity
Unblock Challenge, Day 15.

Tony Stark is the poster child for trying too hard. Whether in the comics or the MCU, one characterization that’s constant is his tendency to desperately try to control everything.

Having agency in our lives is important. I don’t believe in deterministic schools of thought — it’s our free will and ability to decide is what makes the world turn or not. But free will is deceptive.

There are times when we feel like we’re exercising free will, and yet we’re no longer in the control seat. One prime example of this is doing something for the sake of doing it and not for the result or enjoyment or value of it.

I set out on this 30-day Unblock Challenge to create a piece of content every day for thirty days, building creative muscle and pushing myself out of my comfort zone on a daily basis. I skipped three days before this post, and a day earlier in the week. But recovery is just as important as exercise, and pushing myself in spite of needing a break would’ve been a mistake.

Pulling this card from the deck reminded me that even with a 30-day challenge (or 90, or 365, or what-have-you) the point is not doing something every day so you can say you did it every day. If the sake of doing it supersedes the joy of doing it, it’s a bad sign.

Sometimes this can make a convenient excuse for being lazy. I get that. And it’s a judgement call every time to determine which is it: do you need a break or are you just lazy?

One thing that might make answering that question easier is observing our lives with more intention, and documenting so we can see patterns within the chaos of days blending together. I’ve tried bullet journaling (and other kinds of journaling, too) before, but come this December I’ve decided I’d make it a really honest shot. Keeping it minimal, keeping it simple, but sowing the seeds of documenting my life.

Psyched about bullet journaling.

Documenting, not evaluating. One of the most important realizations I’ve had was to not judge what I write down. Just record what’s happening, what I feel. Looking forward to see how my bullet journal will evolve, and if it brings simplicity to my life.

I get it: is awkward to type. RSS might not be your thing.

You could bookmark the site. Or, I can send you new posts in email. It's free, no strings attached. Unsubscribe any time. Will never sell your data to anyone.

Oops! There was an error sending the email, please try again.

WOOT, you're almost done! Jiust check your inbox (it could've gone to spam, who knows?) and click the link to confirm, and you're set.